You Are Loved
by delianismyotp
Summary: Two boys, unbelievably scared. Phil is a secret admirer of Dan. Dan doesn't even realize he existed until a love song he wrote was played in class. Now Dan wants answers. (that sounds way too intense but wey hey) Phan, ongoing, multi-fic, chapters
1. Chapter 1

The bell for 4th period rings as I slide into my seat at the back of the class. This is probably my favourite class of the day, as I have music, and we really don't have to do much work and are allowed to have headphones in when we do.

The class slowly starts filling up with more people, I don't really pay attention to my surroundings as a like to write lyrics in my notebook, the teacher doesn't really mind as it is music related. I get dragged out of my thoughts as the teacher brings the class to attention.

"Nice to see that most of you are here today after the storm yesterday, we have a song being preformed as Phil is the first one done his project." She states. Our project for the month was to have a song written and have music to it as well, it's about half way through the month and I haven't even started, I really should, but knowing me, I'll write it the night before and fail the assignment. Phil slides out of seat, holding a sheet of music while heading up to the piano. I didn't even know that he was in our class, then again, I don't know much of anyone in my classes. Phil awkwardly clears his throat as he places his fingers on the appropriate keys, I brace myself for horrific key slamming as a whole lot of this class is rubbish at music. But I'm quite surprised with what comes.

"You light up the room you stand in

with your illuminating smile,

your gentle steps gracefully

lead your way.

And though you may not know it,

you are loved

oh so very loved,

by someone closer than you think.

And although they hope and pray

that someday,

you figure out the truth.

They sit in silence

and think lovely about you.

And although they know

that you don't understand,

they'll gladly take your hand

and lead the path.

And though you may not know it,

you are loved

oh so loved,

by someone closer than you think."

Phil smiles slightly as he stared down at the keys for a moment, the class claps, but not as much as he deserves. He surprised me, his voice was deep and smooth, almost like melted chocolate. I cringe at how cheesy my mind is being. I watch as Phil grabs his music off the piano and sit back down at his designated seat. I watch as he pulls the sleeves of his jumper over his hands and places them inbetween his knees, head down. I can't believe I never noticed him, he was, to say the least, gorgeous. His eyes were a colour I couldn't even place my finger on, and perfect mix of silver, blue, and purple. They contrasted perfectly with his dark hair and pale skin-

"Howell?" I hear my teacher call, I shake my head slightly and look over to her.

"Yes ma'm?" I answer.

"If you would kindly stop staring at Philip and focus on the task at hand, that would be wonderful." I realize that since Phil had finished his song, I had literally been gawking at him from across the room. I blush and stare at my page, starting to scribble my favourite lyrics across it, I peek out from my fringe and see Phil blushing an amazing dark pink. I giggle to myself; cute.

Soon, after many lyrics later, the bell rings signifying the end of class and I quickly shove my notebook in my bag and sling it over my shoulder. I spot Phil placing his pencils in his case and I walk hesitently over.

"Um.." Well way to go Dan, that was a great start. He looks up at me, startled, and blushes almost harder than he had earlier, and that is saying something. "I, um… I'm sorry for awkwardly staring at you earlier, I hope I didn't weird you out or anything." He smiles.

"Not at all! I mean.. it's okay, whatever." He starts fiddling with the ends of his sleeves again, he really should stop, it's cute and distracting and I'm trying to make a point.

"I really liked your song, by the way, it's was really beautiful."

"Thanks!"

"Is it real?"

"What?" he questions.

"I mean was it based on you."

"Oh… yes, yeah, it was." He looks down at his feet.

"Ah, well." I start, wondering how to word it, "I hope that person realizes that you like them."

"Yeah," he says, smiling, even though there's a hint of sadness in his eyes, "me too."


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a little over a week since Phil preformed his love song in front of the class, and since then, many other students have preformed theirs as well. I, on the other hand, haven't got a clue of what my song will even be based around. I know I should start brainstorming some idea, but my minds been on other things.

I've been paying more and more attention to Phil lately, and all the little details about him. Like how his brow furrows ever so slightly and his lips pout when he is unsure about something. Or how his eyes flutter closed when music is being played, fully becoming a part of it. It scares me how much I admire Phil. I want so badly to talk to him, to get to know him. I have no idea what colour his walls are, or what his favourite childhood memory is, or his views on anything and everything. There is so much to learn about Phil, and it's almost endearing.

I turn my music up a bit when I enter the main foyer of school, blocking out the obnoxious noises that include gossip, shoes squeaking on tile, and metal locker doors being slammed shut. I notice Phil, out of the corner of my eye, sitting against some lockers. I'm surprised to see him without headphones in. For his eyes were fluttered shut, as if he was listening to music. I can't imagine how the horrific sounds of school could be listened to for extended amounts of time. I work my way through the crowd towards him, leaning up against the locker beside him and sliding down it till I was sitting. He turned his head to look at me, our faces closer than I had expected. My breathing hitched as I focused on his eyes. I hadn't seen them up close for a while and they still manage to captivate me, I don't think they'll ever fail at doing that. The silver-blue-purple colour I missed so much was now staring back at me.

"C-can I help you?" Phil stutters, his face growing increasingly darker. I can feel my face heating up as well as I try to formulate words.

"I-um… I was wondering if.." I pause, not knowing how I should word it. The term 'hanging out' makes me cringe, but 'chilling' isn't much better. It was so much easier in younger years where the only term was 'play', I suddenly become aware of the fact that I'm just sitting there, my unfinished sentence lingering in the air, "If you wanted to… meet up sometime, you know, to chat." I finish. His eyes become very big and he bites his lip, looking down.

"I'm sorry but… no" He replies as he gets up quickly and walks away, easily flowing through the crowd of people.

I sit there, stunned, for a moment. Trying to decipher the sudden events that have just unrolled.

No? Why wouldn't he want to? Was it something I had said? I feel incredibly rejected right now. I feel stood up, even though no plans had been made. Maybe he just doesn't like me. But there has to be some reason, right? I'll have to ask him during music.

It was very hard to focus in any of my morning classes, all I could think about was how Phil denied my invitation. He could have at least had some decency to give my a reason as to why he doesn't want to. If I said I wasn't upset right now I'd be lying, he was extremely rude to me earlier for no reason! Thankfully, the bell for 4th period rang and I was almost at music. As soon as I sat down at my seat, I started to write a note to Phil.

I at least deserve a reason as to why you don't want to hang out.

I stretch my arm out and place the note on the corner of his desk, crossing my fingers, and he ignores it! Completely acts as if it wasn't even there! I know that it's able to be seen from his peripheral vision, so why wont he at least read it? I feel even more offended then I had before. Maybe… maybe he's waiting till after class so he wont get caught. Yeah, that makes sense. I convince my self that this is, in fact, the case.

I add more lyrics to my page as I tap my foot along to the beat of my music, trying to keep my mind off of Phil, but failing miserably. All my lyrics were these stupid cliche ones about unrequited love and crap. I feel stupid, I should be able to let this go. I'm acting like an idiot, yet I can't seem to get past any of it. I understand that I'm not popular or anything, but neither is Phil. He's just here, trying to get through the day. I feel as though having someone to do that with would make it a lot more enjoyable, but I guess he feels differently.

I jolt out of my thoughts as the bell rings for next period. I pack up my supplies while keeping an eye on Phil. I watch him as he packs up his bag and makes his way to the front of the class, my note slightly crumpled in his right hand. I watch as he,right before walking out the door, drops my note into the garbage. I feel my heart drop, and my recent hopes of him answering it later get pushed out of my mind. I angrily shove my notebook into my bag and make my way to my next class, forget about him, jerk.

I sigh as I sling my bag over my shoulder, ready to walk home. I shove my headphones in my ears as soon as I leave class, wanting to avoid noise as much as possible. I accidentally bump into someone on my way to the side door, they mumble something about watching where I walk, but I can't be bothered to care.

I fix my shoes that have since become undone as soon as I leave the building. As I look up from my kneeling position, I find Phil walking towards the forest that is located at the top corner of our field. It's completely blocked off and leads nowhere, why would he be heading up there? I feel my curiosity get the best of me as I head in the same direction. Trying hard to ignore the fact that one shoe was tighter than the other.

I feel as though Phil has a secret, and it's bugging me, to say the least. I shouldn't be so nosy -and I normally wouldn't be- but he offended me for -as far as I know- no reason at all. I want answers, and I'm sure as hell going to get them.


	3. Chapter 3

I run after Phil into the trees, feeling a little silly, like I was in twilight or something. I manged to trip over myself only a few times, a new record personally.

"Phil!" I call out, Phil still continued to run further into the forest, expertly pancing around the tree roots, unlike me, who looks as if I just learnt to walk. "Phil please! Just stop for a second! I just want to talk!" I watch as Phil stops in his tracks, shoulders slumping over in defeat. I jog to catch up to him and collapse onto my knees, feeling them become damp from the dirt.

"What do you want?" Phil asks in a monotone voice, not looking at me but rather at his feet.

"Why are you being so rude!?" I spit, climbing back onto my feet, though still lacking in height. "All I do is ask to hang out and you deny me then leave without any reason! I think I at least deserve a reason!" Phil starts to lightly shake and back up onto a tree, but right now I'm not in the mood to comfort him. "You think that I'm not good enough eh? I'm just that guy who ogles at you in music, is that it? Well let me tell you something. That hurt! I'm not good enough for anyone and I know that, but at least give me a reason as to why you just ran off!" I scream, my voice echoing through the forest. I finally snap out of my angered state and realize that Phil has thick streams of tears running down his face. I think my heart shattered then and there.

"Phil oh my god I'm so sorry I got carried away I don't usually snap like that." Phil's silent sobs fill my head and bounce around, screaming, making me feel guilty. I lean forward and embrace him, feeling his body tremble against mine. I scold myself for getting so carried away. This is why no one wants to hang out with me, I always end up hurting everyone I care about.

"It was about you." I hear Phil mumble into my shoulder, feeling him finally wrap his arms around me.

"What was about me?" I ask, confused. What was he going on about?

"The song, that I sang in music, it was about you." He states, his sobs quieting down slightly.  
I swear I stopped breathing for a moment. Why would anyone even think like that about me? I'm not anything special, I'm not creative or attractive or caring or anything that someone likes in a person.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I was scared."

"What do you mean?" I feel Phil push off of me, and lean back onto the tree, red eyes glancing down.

"I was scared that you wouldn't like me back. Scared that you'd realize how messed up I am. Scared that I'd say the wrong thing and make you hate me. It was so much easier just to admire you from afar."

"That would never happen, you are amazing and let's be honest here, we're all a little messed up." I smile at him, grabbing for his hands and squeezing them. He looks up at me; he looks so confused and hurt and there's nothing I want to do more than to cuddle up to him and tell him stupid little stories and make him laugh. I've never heard his laugh, I bet it's beautiful, I mean, how could it not coming from him.

"Really?" he breathes out, lips curling up at the side just ever so slightly.

"Of course." I assure him, "you are so creative and beautiful. Whenever I look at you, you seem like you're in such bliss. Where ever you are, you make it look so incredible because you seem to bring out the best in everything and everyone. I would consider myself to be the luckiest person in the world if I could be called yours." I watch as his face lights up and he springs forward, letting go of my hands and engulfing me in a hug. He pulls back after a moment, arms loosely draped around my neck.

"Dan, would you be mine?" He asks. I didn't have to think twice before nodding my head and pulling him back in for a hug.

"I don't understand how you can listen to everything all the time." I say to Phil, sitting beside him while leaning on the lockers. I always have to have music blaring in my ears, outside noises make me feel anxious.

"It's like music" He states, I tilt my head, confused. He looks at me, and explains himself. "I mean, the talking, the slamming of the locker doors, they are sounds. Music is made up of sounds. If you really take time to listen how all the sounds blend together, it's like music. You feel emotion when you listen to the sounds of different places, just like how you can feel a range of emotions when listening to different genres of music. Life is like a never ending symphony that everyone is to busy to appreciate."

I stare at him, taking in every word he said. I can't help but to admire him, he is literally the most amazing human alive. Every word that comes out of his mouth has so much meaning and purpose and I feel like I should record everything and share it with the world cause it all deserves to be listened to.

"You're astounding" I breathe out. I wasn't speaking a word of lie. Phil blushes and looks down, but I set my finger under his chin and turn his head to look at me. I lean in slowly and softly press my lips to his, I feel him kiss back slightly and we enjoy the moment, butterflies fluttering in our stomachs.  
After we pull away I stand up and hold out my hand. He looks up at me, questioning. "May I have this dance?" I ask. He smiles knowingly and nods. I pull him up from his sitting position and drag him into the middle of the school hall, surrounded by other students. I wrap my arms around his neck and feel his find their way around my waist. We sway to the music of life. People stop and surround us, whispering words of confusion. I don't mind though, they're just adding to the symphony.


End file.
